Speaking from a normal person's point of view, do praises hurt? or if I can phrase it better, what hurts more, praise or criticism? An appropriate answer would be none, if you can take praise with your head held high you must be able to take criticism with the same attitude, right? That sounds pretty obvious, but anyway, this post is not about you but more about me, cause this is my blog, pingo. It won't probably make sense to you or might draw something in your mind that…hush

This is a kind of rant or better say just emptying some of my thoughts which keep troubling me when my brain goes blank and I have nothing to do.

For the last one and a half year, I have got a quite a large share of praises, everyone knows @hellozee, every event I go, I meet some new faces who come up to me and ask, you are @hellozee right? At last, I can say I am something different, I do, I can stand out from the crowd, but what's the point of this, if the shots I take miss the target? A soldier can practice day in and day out to shoot on the target perfectly, but if he can't land one in the battlefield, it won't matter.

I roll my eyes over my surroundings and all I see, people getting their targets one by one, while I see mine missing by inches.

“But dude, you are far ahead of others”, this hurts, really hurts, if you are ahead in a race, you should be winning right? No, not at least with me. When I cross the line, the next line has already appeared and I am lagging behind again making crossing lines for me like, yeah okay, nothing interesting.

“Sure, who won't like to have a smart guy…", seriously? was that to flatter me or a sarcastic response? Words are not going to fill my stomach right? If I was something remote to being smart, I won't be writing this post anyway.

I still wonder how can others write so much about them, their CVs don't have an end neither does their LinkedIn profile and here am I, who goes blank when starts writing his own resume, can't even say I know this and that with confidence, if someone asks, what do you know? What kind of idiot am I?

In short, in Hindi, I would say,

क्या उखाड़ लिया है मैंने जिंदगी में ?

The answer would be nothing, I am not even able to shoot down a single duck. I would love if people instead of praising me, critique me now and then, I feel nice to be corrected, publicly, privately, doesn't matter to me, correct me if I wrong, show me you are better.

As they say, life is a marathon, but hey waiting 42 years is utter bullshit, I might just change my path, though ending this on a positive note, :wq for now.